Cool cool cool, so, ummmmm…whoops, sorry, the review I’ve been promising you all is coming for the past three weeks will now be posted tomorrow. It’s taken me forever to write cuz its fucking long, ok? You’ll understand tomorrow. Trust me.
On a far less I’m-literally-the-shittest-blogger note, I’m back with another Top Ten Tuesday! You know, the one thing on my blog that I actually post consistently? Top Ten Tuesday is a bookish meme hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl, and this weeks prompt is the first ten reviews you posted. Now, I have only posted one review on my blog so far, because A) I can’t read, and B) I can’t write. But I’ve posted nearly 40 reviews on goodreads since I started reviewing at the very beginning of 2018, so I guess I’ll share the first ten with you all.
Warning: this post contains copious amounts of cringe and self deprecation. Proceed with caution.
Ok, this review wasn’t actually bad?? Like, I gave my basic thoughts on the book; why I liked it, and what elements might be controversial/polarizing, and summed everything up clearly and concisely. I even used spoiler tags so that people could actually read the review if they hadn’t read the book, which isn’t something I do now? (I always warn for spoilers at the beginning of my reviews cuz I’m not a complete arsehole, but I never hide them.)
However, the me of today would never be able to stop after just 3-4 paragraphs. My reviews are now so much more in depth (alternatively: way too in depth), and they’re structured a lot better (broken up into characters, plot, writing, etc). But I genuinely do actually like this review (even if I started rambling on about psychology halfway through because even back then I had no chill).
Also, can we just take a moment to mourn whoever the fuck that was that read this in only two days, thanks.
Another review I don’t hate! I mean, look at all those critical thoughts, even if I didn’t go into much depth. This was the first book review in which I spoke about mental health representation as well, and I genuinely think I did a good job explaining the pros and cons of the rep in this book. Again, even if it wasn’t anywhere near as in depth as I’d go in now. I’m genuinely a bit weirded out right now, cuz I swear my old reviews were terrible (I haven’t looked back on them in 7 or 8 months), but I haven’t hated these so far??
Also, I apparently read this in one day…who the actual fuck was I??? Can I have her back now, please???
Well, the shit reviews had to start somewhere. This is, like, 5 sentences. They’re not even good sentences. I want to cry just knowing I wrote this. How did I regress so much?? I don’t even know what else to say about this one. I’m just glad I don’t review books like this anymore.
Pro-tip: don’t bother clicking on the link to read this review cuz that’s the entire thing. Yeah. As I said, it’s bad.
Well shit. I completely forgot that my reviews of these books were some of my first. I’ve kind of been avoiding expressing my thoughts on the Harry Potter series because, well, I’m not exactly the biggest Harry Potter fan, and whilst legit everyone who knows me from goodreads knows that because of this review, I still worry about the reactions of people on new platforms cuz anxiety. But oh well, every single one of my HP reviews will be linked in this post, so I guess by the end of this you’ll all know my thoughts.
As for this review specifically, well, it’s garbage. I was so scared about what other people would think of my thoughts when I wrote this that I tried to cater to them with all the “I’m sure this was great at the time” and “I’m too old for this maybe?” bullshit, when in reality, I just didn’t think this was anywhere near as good as people say it is.
Also, low key starting to wonder if these are even my reviews, because how tf did it only take me a day or two to read each of these books???
I could just skip the rest of my reviews of this series, but I kind of feel like that would be cheating? Also, reading Harry Potter for the first time is such a massive part of so many readers’ lives, and the same can be said for me. It just so happened that I felt, well, differently about these books than most people.
I was definitely a lot saltier in this review, because I felt like this series was just letting me down, and it was pissing me off because it’s so hyped. Also, this book was truly the start of my intense hatred of Harry as a character, and you can really tell. But this still wasn’t really a good review to be honest. Like, don’t get me wrong, everything I said was totally fine. It’s just that it’s very short and I didn’t expand upon any of my thoughts, and I much prefer reviews that actually go into more depth.
I think this is the worst review I’ve ever written?? I just immediately went off on this book cuz I disliked it so much, but I didn’t give any actual reasons for not liking it? Like, I say the characters were annoying…how, though? I never explain anything. So this just feels like me trashing a book for no reason.
Ok ok I’m starting to get better at reviewing at this point. I mean, apparently I forgot that paragraphs exist, but I do start to give specific examples of what I did and didn’t like in this book, rather than just saying “yeah it’s predictable” or whatever. I also start to add some humour and jokes into this review, which makes it a little more entertaining to read. Overall, this was an improvement to the first two HP reviews, but it’s still not great.
This is the start of my reviews not being complete trash. Don’t get me wrong, this review isn’t great, but I discover paragraphs, continue to give more in depth examples of what I did and didn’t like in the book, and just generally articulate my thoughts better. I also give more critical thoughts in this review than in previous ones, which is always good. Though, of course since this is me, I do also write an entire paragraph complaining about stupid and irrelevant details.
Whilst my intense hatred of Harry as a character began after Chamber of Secrets, it definitely peaked while I was reading this book. This was my first true rant review, and it’s genuinely pretty good. I definitely could have split a couple paragraphs in half to make it easier to read, but I explain all my thoughts pretty well, and it’s an entertaining review to read. This was kind of when I started to get the hang of reviewing, and while this review definitely isn’t perfect, it’s the first one on this list that I’m actually proud of.
Apparently all my unpopular opinions ever are from February 2018. I mean, I don’t even dislike this book, I just didn’t love it like the rest of the world. But my review for this book was pretty good. I listened to this as an audiobook, so I forgot a few details by the time I got around to reviewing it, but for the most part, I do a good job of going through what I like and didn’t like, and why that lead to the rating I gave this. Though, just like with the last review, I deffo could’ve split the paragraphs in half to make this easier to read and understand.
Uhhhh yes, I do know how numbers work, and I do know that this is meant to be Top Ten Tuesday, but this is one of my favourite HP reviews, and definitely my favourite early review, so I fuck it, I decided I’d share this one with you as well. And ooof, it’s a harsh one guys. But, and not to toot my own horn or anything, it’s kind of funny af? This review is really the first one that I managed to find a good balance between humour and actual intelligent thoughts. But. I. Still. Don’t. Know. How. Paragraphs. Work. Apparently. Seriously past Laura, new idea = new paragraph. It’s not that hard.
Welp. That didn’t go exactly how I expected it to. This post just kind of ended up being “hey, I hate all of your favourite book series, here’s a bunch of ranty reviews on it”. But oh well, this is my most unpopular opinion, and it was bound to come out at some point, whoops (please don’t hate me).
But I hope you enjoyed seeing my old trashy reviews, and kind of getting an idea of how I progressed when I was first starting. Tomorrow (yes, I swear I’m not lying this time) I’m posting my Muse of Nightmares review, so you’ll get to see even more of my review-writing progression and get an idea of what my reviews are like now. So hopefully that’ll be fun. But yeah, talk to me in the comments: what was the first book you reviewed? What’s your favourite review you’ve ever written? Do you have any super unpopular opinions? That’s all I’ve got for you guys for now, so I’ll see you tomorrow with my 4000 word review (I wish I wasn’t exaggerating). Byeeeeeee.