Heyo! I’m back! I still low-key want to crawl back into bed and sleep for a thousand years, but life does this really annoying thing where it keeps going, so I figured I’d force myself to get back online, and hopefully I’ll be completely out of this whole depressive funk by the end of the week. As for the book haul that I’ve been promising for literally two weeks? Tomorrow. I swear, this time I will actually post it. I keep putting off taking the photo I want to take because I suck at taking pictures, and I don’t like doing things I’m not good at because of my debilitating perfectionism lol. But I also spent, like, three hours typing up all the books I got recently, and I will burn down my bookshelf before I let that work go to waste. (Aren’t you glad my dramatic arse is back on your feed?).
Onto today’s post: it’s another Top Ten Tuesday! This time, however, it’s actually a top ten list posted on Tuesday (ok, fine, it’s 2:00am early Wednesday morning, but it’s Tuesday somewhere in the world, so it’s still an improvement to last week). But yeah, Top Ten Tuesday is a bookish meme hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl. Today’s prompt is actually “outrageous things you’ve done for the love of books”, but I haven’t really ever done anything outrageous in my life? Ok, that’s a lie, 15/16 year-old-me did some kind of crazy shit (I say as if that was 20 years ago, rather than 2 lmao :P), but I’ve never really done anything outrageous for books or because of my love for reading or anything. So I thought “ok, what’s some outrageous things I would do for books?” which lead me onto asking myself “what are some outrageous things I would do for book characters?”, and I figured the most outrageous thing to do for a fictional character would be to die, and, like, there are at least 10 characters I would gladly die for, so that’s my take on this topic (aka me coming up with another excuse to rave about my favourite characters). Also, Jesus Christ, you can tell I haven’t written a blog post in a while, cuz I am massively overusing italics, which I only ever do when I’ve bottled up the perpetual ravings about books within my head, rather than shove all my favs in you guys’ faces.
Ok, so, turns out that picking just 10 characters I would die for is impossible? So, know that these aren’t the only characters I would die for. But I chose these 10 because I just feel like these characters are the smollest cinnamon buns I have ever read about, and I would gladly give my left leg to protect them from harm. Whereas, whilst I would totally die for a character like Mia Corvere, she would probably slit my throat at the mere suggestion of her being adorable, so I feel like she could do without my protection? Possibly? So really, this list is “the top ten book characters I would die to protect because holy fuck they’re adorable and we don’t deserve them”, but that felt like too long of a title, whoops.
10. Simon Snow
The guy’s an utter mess. That’s basically the entire plot of this book. And it kind of makes me want to hold him down and never let him out of my sight. If that’s not overprotectiveness to the point where I’d be willing to die for him, I don’t know what is. Ok, but seriously, Simon is actually the sweetest thing. Like, he’s low-key naive, and very dumb and impulsive, but that just makes me want to protect him even more. He just deserves so much better than what he was given in life, you know? And yet he’s still just so good. Yeahhhh, if y’all expected me to be coherent in this post, then sadly you were mistaken.
9. Billy Chatworth
Billy is basically the personification of sweet. Like, take the sound of 12-year-old me giggling when she finds out from her friends that her crush likes her back, and form that into a book character. That is Billy. I mean, it’s kind of weird to me that he’s my favourite character in this series, because we all know that “sweet” is usually the last thing I look for, especially in a love interest. And yet Billy stole my heart? Basically as soon as he was introduced?? He’s just so funny in that adorable, genuinely-good-person way, and he literally just spends the entire series trying to make everyone else happy, and we seriously don’t deserve this boy.
8. Princess Amari
I’m barely 200 pages through this book, so maybe take this one with a grain of salt, but I just could not write this list and not include her. She. Is. So. Fucking. Precious. Like, she’s been sheltered for so long, and sure, she’s fairly naive because of it, but reading about her bewilderment and wonder every time she goes somewhere new, or experiences a new form of magic, is honestly the purest thing I’ve ever read. And like, yeah, I know, she can protect herself, and that’s part of what’s so special about her…but she’s so much like a little lost puppy that I don’t care how sharp her teeth are or how strong her jaw is, I will protect her with my life (damn, look at me pulling metaphors out of nowhere. Where’s my book deal?)
7. Skip Wilson
How many of you are sick of me talking about this series that literally none of you have read? Well too bad, I won’t stop until you all read it. May as well just get it over with 😉 Ok, but seriously, these books were my childhood; this is basically what I had instead of Harry Potter, and Skip Wilson was my first ever fictional crush. I love him. And, like, ok, you could argue that in later books in this series, Skip is…well, not very adorable. But I don’t care?? Like, this kid could literally try to murder everyone and I’d still think of him as the cute and confused new boy he was in this book. And anyone who tries to tell me otherwise can fucking fight me. He needs my protection and that’s final.
6. Noah (his last name is low-key a spoiler, so…)
Do I really need to explain this? If you’ve read this series, you know exactly why Noah deserves all of my love and protection. He is the purest human being to have ever existed, and I don’t think I can even fully explain why without bursting into tears?? Like, he’s honestly such an underrated character in this series, and he deserved a far bigger role than he got, especially in the last book. Like, on the surface he’s this sweet, shy boy who often fades into the background, but then you also see this cheerful, carefree, and (when he’s with Ronan, especially) low-key reckless side of him. And every time I picture him in my head, I just picture him with this goofy grin on his face, because he’s Noah. It’s hard to really describe him without spoiling this series, but he’s basically the sweetest and most loyal member of The Gangsey, and I love him with all of my heart.
5. Cress (oh yay, her last name is also a spoiler, how fun)
(Yes I know that she isn’t in this particular book, but I already had this cover screenshotted and I’m lazy.)
What is it about sweet, naive, and sheltered girls that steals my heart? I don’t know, maybe the fact that they’re always. So. Fucking. Precious??? Seriously, Cress was a breath of fresh air in this series. Don’t get me wrong, I loved all of these characters. But Cress was just so pure and kind and open and I just wanted to hug her. Like, constantly? It was kind of a problem. I ended up just hugging my book for a solid 5 minutes every time she said or did something adorable. I looked like an idiot. But she’s just so sweet, and yet has this quiet strength that I appreciated so much, and how could I not love her with everything I am. Like, if someone even gave her a paper cut, I would tear them limb from limb and wouldn’t even regret it, because her kind, adorable self doesn’t deserve any pain, just like we don’t deserve her.
4. Lazlo Strange
Speaking of cinnamon rolls with an admirable, quiet strength, Lazlo Strange is the legit owner of my soul. He just has so much hope and belief in people, I aspire to be as trusting as him. His head is constantly in the clouds, and he’s always dreaming up a new world that he wants to turn the actual world into. But he’s almost too trusting?? He believes in everyone so much, almost to a fault, and I feel like he just needs someone like my cynical arse looking out for him? Because his heart is too pure to be broken, and his eyes are too bright to be dimmed, and I am 100% prepared to give my life to prevent that from happening.
3. Ty Blackthorn
My protective instincts properly come out when it comes to Ty. I don’t know if it’s cuz he’s younger than me, or because his autism symptoms tend to be quite similar, if less severe, than my actual younger brother, or if it’s some combination of both, but I feel this older sibling protectiveness over Ty, especially after the end of Lord of Shadows. He just such a sweet and precious kid. He’s constantly finding adorable creatures and befriending them, or being adorable passionate about solving mysteries, or being the most open and honest human being on the planet. And, like, how could you not that??
2. Wylan Van Eck
I’m running out of synonyms for “pure” and “precious” and “literally the most adorable character on the planet”. Oh wait, just thought of one: Wylan Van Eck. Seriously, he is my obsession. He is low key corrupted by The Dregs throughout this duology, and a lot of his previous naivety and innocence dims as he experiences more and more of the hardships that come with being a part of a criminal gang. But I think that’s why I feel such a strong need to protect him? Like, he honestly deserves so much happiness, but throughout this series you see him in so many shitty situations, and it’s like, holy fuck, give the kid a break before I burn Ketterdam to the ground, ya know? I mean, I’m glad that he grew from his experiences, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing that he’s no longer so ignorant to the struggles faced by people in Ketterdam who didn’t grow up rich. But, Wylan is the actual shining light of this series, because all the other characters (whom I also love btw) are all various shades of grey, and I don’t want his bright-eyed innocence to be totally diminished, because his dynamic with the rest of the group is EVERYTHING. And also, he’s just really sweet and precious, so don’t hurt him, ok?
1. Literally anyone with the last name Herondale.
Are?? We?? Surprised?? Seriously, I am Cassandra Clare trash. I gave my soul to the woman when I was 14, and haven’t regretted it for a moment since. But, ok, you might be wondering “ummm, Laura, aren’t the Herondales all bad arse shadowhunters??”, and yes. BUT they are also just a bunch of broken, love-struck boys, and I feel like I need to protect them all, because they all feel so intensely, which is, like, a one way ticket to getting your heart broken (as we’ve seen in a certain book that shall not be named because spoilers (BUT I’M STILL NOT OVER IT)). Look, I don’t even know why I’m trying to explain why my precious Herondales came in at number one; Will Herondale is literally my husband, as if I wouldn’t die to protect him! So I’m just gonna end this post before I collapse onto my computer because it’s 2am and I need help (seriously, how have I not died of sleep deprivation at this point???)
So yeah, there’s a list of book characters I would die to protect, which is not at all what I was supposed to be listing in this post, but I gave you my flimsy line of logic that got me here from the prompt, so… 😛 Let me know what book character you would jump in front of a train to protect. Or, if you’re one of those sane people who wouldn’t kill themselves over fictional people (lmaooo when I put it that way, it sounds like I should have been locked up in a mental institution years ago, whoops), tell me what book characters you feel are the most precious and too-pure-for-this-world cinnamon rolls, because, despite my affinity for arseholes and dickheads, I’m also a sucker for a complete sweetheart.
Just a final note: the book haul I’ve been promising for over two weeks now (and haven’t posted yet because I am the personification of a dumpster fire) will be posted tomorrow. Then, I have a review coming on Thursday, and I’m back to posting tags every Friday. Also, I have a fun post planned for Sunday, so look out for that. Basically, I’m coming back to blogging with a fucking bang (but will still probably crash and burn because this is me).
Ok, cool, I think that’s all I wanted to say. I kind of forgot blogging was a thing I was supposed to be doing until a few hours ago, and so I have not obsessively reread this and edited it. So if I sound crazy, I’m sorry, and if there’s any stupid grammatical/spelling mistakes, I’m also sorry. But I’ve been awake for way too long now, and I need sleep, and at this point I’m just complaining about my own bad lifestyle choices that I haven’t changed because effort?? So I’ll end this before you all decide to unfollow me xD But I’ll be back to being active on goodreads and wordpress tomorrow, so I’ll see you all then. Byeeeeeeee 🙂